Let Me DesiGn yOu

i felt a sudden sense of adventure...
the night was slipping into insanity, and i was aware of it...
there was no turning back now, and i loved it...
its not about the fights or the fading streetlights...
its about two nights that weren't going to be different from the rest, but then took a turn...
its about trying to find out who you are and who your real friend are...
its about everything being the same..the same..the same..
its about nothing being the same again..

its not about Pure Sunshine..
its all about Pure Sunshine...
(quoted by Brian James)






hi again my online journal...
and hello to Pure Sunshine...
forever it took for this new post to appear..
and forever it is to coordinate things i wanna write down...
for some already passed but still tangled in my mind..
and some easily forgotten..
well im just a normal human being...
some memories i engraved and will never forgot...
a mixture of bittersweets.


one day i sat by the window..
clueless with nothing to be done...
i lay on my bed...
wondering and looking thru the blank wall like a screen that display thousands pictures on it..
i smile then i frown..
in a corner of my bed i saw the camera...
grab it...
a magnificent ray of light penetrate thru the window of my room..
creating a beautiful shadow and lighten up the dark gloomy enclosed space...
i captured the view before the light fading away...
like i never want something beautiful simply vanished in a chapter of my life...

well it happened most of the time..
some leave me hanging...
some play hide and seek...
some leave and appear again but it was too late...
i always said ''its ok im used to it...
the hidden meaning behind it '' well i am strong on the exterior but very fragile inside.please don't ever repeat it again''...
and that how people behave...
they never stop hurting others until the learn how does it feel to be treated such way...
often they misinterpret is as a HATE but it is NOT...
couldn't find an appropriate word to describe it...
its Ok if u never believe it because what matter to me is i know that i never LIE when talking about this...


by the way...hey u start with R...thanx for this...
take care and hope we can be friend even things between us don't happen according to plan...
god have a better plan for u and me...
don't worry, i never forget u even ur slowly put me aside from ur mind...

owh i made friend with some new people...
how interesting knowing people from different perspective of life...
thanx to god because never leave me EMPTY...
god always hear my pray and i am sorry if i misbehave and forgot my responsibilities to obey...
i am ur humble slave and always need a GUIDANCE..
give me NUR in my life...
and that what the Pure Sunshine all about...


how difficult it is trying to keep a SECRET within...
and trying to find someone who truly UNDERSTAND so i can release everything that i keep...
because all that people see is a wide smile and rarely a broken heart...
i just don't like people close with me noticed for it may affected them...
as long as they are happy i am happy...
but when will i truly be happy??
i leave it upon god to decide.

easy LIKE people...
hard to LOVE one...
once a BROKEN HEART...
the scar is FOREVER..
but can i LIKE u??
never told ya so but always afraid to feel that way...
always ended up with disappointment...
then i will feel sad again...
its not like i never try seeking...
but each time a huge wall stop me from continuing the journey...
and once again i leave it upon god to decide...
one wish...
SOMEDAY i like to call...
someday it is...
im waiting patiently in my secret garden...
always BELIEVE that my roses will grow wild again like how it used to be before...

written by
SECRET